


Toxic

by littlewerewolftori13



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Britney Spears - Freeform, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, It's Britney Bitch, M/M, just some fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 11:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8053831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewerewolftori13/pseuds/littlewerewolftori13
Summary: When Bond sneaks into Q's flat to prove a point, he gets a bit more than he expected.





	Toxic

“Baby, can’t you see, I’m callin’.” Bond nearly jumped as music blasted through the apartment. He had snuck into Q’s flat earlier that afternoon, mostly to snoop, but also just to hold it over Q’s head that he could break past his supposedly high security system. The first couple minutes he had stayed on high alert, but no alarms, silent or audible had gone off, so he had settled in to wait, sprawled comfortably and invitingly in Q’s bed. He hadn’t tried to seduce the scruffy boffin yet, but it never hurt to plant ideas. 

But this, admittedly, Bond hadn’t expected. The music continued to blare from the other room, and now he could hear noises, Q moving around in the other rooms and very possibly dancing. The beat was certainly right for it, something more poppy than the gritty clubs Bond was suddenly picturing the usually strict quartermaster in. Bond could see it now: all those stuffy layers being stripped off, the wiry body most often glimpsed behind a computer screen and covered in folds of too big, frumpy cardigans, bare, lean and writhing. Q would be pale all over, skin nearly translucent when bared to any sort of light. With a shake of his head, Bond stopped his train of thought before he got unfortunately excited and ruined the line of his trousers. 

“You’re dangerous, I’m lovin’ it.” Bond grinned at the words. Maybe his Quartermaster was a little more wild than he had even thought. He wouldn’t have guessed that Q would go for a dangerous sort of guy, but the song he was enjoying seemed to say otherwise. Normally, he wouldn’t assume, but what one does when they think they are alone… He stood from the bed, moving to stand by the door to hear better and… There it was! A rustling of fabric, like Q was really dancing, stripping off his wrinkled ensemble. Bond’s mind whirled in response, completely unable to believe that not only had he caught his Quartermaster out, that he suddenly had loads of blackmail to goad him with. Maybe he was getting that exploding pen after all. But maybe…

Maybe if Q was a bit more interesting than he had previously labeled, he should focus more on the seduction of him than originally planned. It’s not like Bond hadn’t thought about it, with those plush wide lips, though they were mostly seen frowning at him as he brought back more damaged equipment or even none at all. Still, the thought of them bitten and wet, and his wild mop of hair, perfect for tangling his hands in. Well, he wouldn’t mind that. No, he wouldn’t mind that one bit. An amiable Q was, too, something Bond wouldn’t mind. One pliant after being fucked silly was rather appealing. 

“With a taste of your lips, I’m on a ride.” Bond slowly, silently, turned the handle of the door, tongue darting out to lick his lips as he peeked out to the main room to catch a glimpse of this elusive Q he was picturing. At first, he didn’t see anything, but then-.

“Ah, so that’s where you were lurking.” The music cut off suddenly as Q raised his head, tapping at his phone before turning back to face his computer, sitting neatly at the kitchen table. He wasn’t wearing his cardigan and the sleeves of his button down were rolled up to his elbows, but otherwise he resembled entirely the person he was in headquarters. “I got an alert about an hour ago that someone had broken in, but I had my suspicions, so I turned off the rest of the system. I left work early for this I’ll have you know. I usually wouldn’t take time out of my day to deal with something like this, but I didn’t want you getting any ideas that this could become a /thing/.” 

Bond blinked, unfazed outwardly. Inwardly, well... Honestly, he was rather disappointed, but he knew if this was truly how Q was… Well, he wouldn’t fit past the stick shoved up Q’s ass anyways. Too bad, really.

“It was surprisingly polite of you to allow me to think I got past your systems, Q.” Bond stepped forth fully from behind the door, straightening his suit habitually.

“Don’t think I’m doing you any favors, I’d just rather like to avoid the paperwork that comes with a double-oh deciding to be a menace.” Q sat up from his spot, closing the lid of his laptop halfway and turning to give Bond a narrow-eyed look. “If we’re finished, then?” He said in a tight voice, obviously waiting for Bond to leave. 

With a sigh and one more glance over the Quartermaster’s person, just to see if there were any other weaknesses he could tease before leaving, Bond made for the front door.

“What you’re not going to take the window out like how you came in?” Q spoke snidely from behind him, making Bond pause. As he turned his head to glance at Q again, he could see the man looked acutely miserable, perhaps at provoking an agent that was already in the process of leaving. With a smirk, he turned fully back to the boffin, ready to press the advantage Q had given him. Maybe tonight could still be maneuvered into something more pleasurable. With that in mind, Bond settled in, ready to stick out whatever came next, even if it was the countermeasures Q had brought up earlier being put into place, along with the paperwork to go with them.

**Author's Note:**

> Hah, this is a mess, I'm not sorry. This is all because I was taking my friend home and this came on the radio and we blasted it, one thing led to another, and BAM! Here's a fic. Mainly, this is just an excuse for me to give Bond dirty thoughts. Have fun!


End file.
